


Leap of Faith

by Inkribbon796



Series: Masks and Maladies [58]
Category: Jacksepticeye Fandom, Markiplier fandom - Fandom, Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Adventure, Gen, M/M, Magic, Treasure Hunt, Use of Spanish, off-screen black magic, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:28:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23239207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkribbon796/pseuds/Inkribbon796
Summary: In order to decode a dead language for King, Host helps Marvin, Roman, Eric, and Magnum track down inscriptions. So they go to South America where they meet their guide: Illinois. In a story of adventure, treasure, and awkward first meetings.
Relationships: Eric Derekson/Illinois
Series: Masks and Maladies [58]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538131
Kudos: 38





	1. Little Luck on our Side

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter took forever to actually finish, I’ve been working on this story since December and it finally cooperated with me this week so it’s going up.  
> All titles for this story come from JT Music’s Take a Leap of Faith which is an Uncharted fan song but it fits Illinois way too well so it inspired this.

“Thanks again,” Ethan told Marvin as he raced out of the magician’s cozy little library. A new bracelet around the younger superhero’s wrist, both runes from Marvin and an inscription from the Host etched into the metal.

“Nah problem,” Marvin smiled. “Don’t be afraid ta tell us if ye find anything.”

Walking him out, Marvin watched him disappear before his very eyes, the magic already kicking in to amplify Ethan’s normal camouflage powers and hide him from even the most powerful scrying spell even the Host had.

Confident that Ethan was as safe as he could be, Marvin went looking for two people that he knew were still in the base. He walked into the lobby room and smiled when he still saw Eric and Roman with Henrik and Randall.

“Who’s got a free evenin’ or twelve?” Marvin asked. “Roman, it’s already been decided, you’re coming with.”

“Okay,” Roman threw his hands up. “For what?”

“I’m going on an adventure, and yeh’d never forgive me if I didn’t take yah,” Marvin answered.

“You’re right, when do we leave?” Roman unsheathed his sword.

“Marvin and Roman should take Eric with them,” the Host announced his presence, standing in the doorway behind Marvin.

“Why?” Randall and Marvin asked at almost the same time. Marvin was a little more hostile.

“Randall and Henrik are about to be needed when Silver comes back with Chase,” the Host told them. Henrik sprung up and started running towards the clinic.

“I’m not bringin’ ‘im inta muggy jungle an’ watch him catch malaria,” Marvin argued.

“Jungle?” Roman shouted in excitement. “Do I get to be a swashbuckling explorer?”

“Sure, why not?” Marvin glanced back at him before turning back to glare at Host. “He’s not comin’ with, he’s safe here.”

One of the Host’s eyebrows shot up, making his already slightly blood-soaked bandages become a little more red.

“Well he’s not safer in giant, dangerous mosquito country!” Marvin shouted at him.

“Would Eric like to go with the Magician and the Prince?” Host asked, looking almost through Marvin to stare at Eric, still behind the magician. “He has greatly wished to become a hero, and has worked hard for it, but has never accompanied any of the heroes on an away mission.”

“I, uh,” Eric began before faltering.

“He does your dirty work enough,” Marvin jabbed back.

“Bringing the Host’s supplies from the store room barely qualifies as something Eric would have done before he was an apprentice, even Marvin has brought the Host paper during his long nights.” The Host was just staring in their direction, making it unclear exactly who he was looking at.

“Um,” Eric said quietly, Marvin and Host almost missed it in the commotion of their argument. “I want to go.”

Marvin looked over at Eric, one half concerned, and the other a touch annoyed. But when Eric started to look disheartened, the magician groaned. “Alright, alright.”

He turned to the Host, “But yah need ta help make sure he doesn’t die. I think he’d fair about as well as Robbie would.”

The Host took out a pin, it was an old-looking metallic star. “The Host has already come prepared. There will be a guide at your location. This pin will function as a charm to keep any misfortune from Eric’s person, and as a dowsing rod for Marvin to find their guide’s location.”

Marvin walked over, inspecting the pin. The thing was magical, but the magic was hard to read. “What enchantments does it have?”

“Residuals of someone’s aura,” the Host answered. “The Host merely kept it, just in case he or the other heroes would have need of it. The Host’s powers drop off at a certain distance.”

“Then why not come with us?” Marvin grilled.

“Without the good doctor the Host would not last long against such elements, and in an environment such as the Amazon. Even with the doctor, medical aid would be difficult for him to receive.” The Host sighed. “Otherwise he would be delighted to join the Heroes. There are many places he had wanted to visit before he became the Host, but now such travel is no longer possible.”

The seer frowned, his hands tightening into fists. But he visibly forced them to straighten out, smiling at Marvin, “But such things are not good for the Host to dwell on, and he knows it. So he must bid the heroes well on their journeys.”

“Thanks,” Marvin sighed. “Keep the base safe while we’re gone.”

“That is the Host’s job,” the Host’s smile got brighter. “He will be in his library when you all return. The heroes should check in on what King will need.”

“Thanks mom, don’t need a step by step,” Marvin dismissed. “Take care of yerself or else I’ll have both the docs jumpin’ down my throat.”

The Host just smiled, and then put his hands into his pockets and walked away. Letting the trio go and find King in his room after some quick goodbyes.

“King you got anything for us?” Roman burst into King’s room, the hero jumping, the book in his hand dropping to the floor.

“Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” King snapped.

“Geez,” Roman chuckled. “You’d think you were jerking off with a reaction like that.”

“Princey, I have power over your destination, I can spit you out in the middle of a commando hideout,” King warned.

“Ooh,” Roman grinned. “That sounds like fun.”

King rolled his eyes, “Sure, Princey, you do you.”

“Brazilian gangs aside,” Marvin cut in. “I’d like the map as is, thank ye very much.”

“Sure,” King smiled, twisting around in his chair to look at all three of them. “So you’re heading off to the Amazon?”

“Anythin’ more on those inscriptions before we head out? Marvin asked hopefully. “If we knew more about that temple we might be ready fer traps.”

“Oh yeah,” King rolled his eyes, “making real progress. You all may as well be asking me to translate a dead language with nothing but the equivalent of cocktail napkin addresses and an outdated phone book.”

Then he turned to Marvin, “Oh wait.”

“I’m surprised a kid like you even knows what a phone book is,” Marvin jabbed back.

“Ha, ha,” King kicked his feet up, “folder’s on the bed. Don’t know where this language comes from but the farthest reach back I can get is to a couple immigrants from Manaus I was telling you about. They have to have something in that area of the jungle. Try to find someone who speaks Portugese or one of the local dialects.”

“Host got us a guide,” Roman added.

“Oh, good,” King was spinning his pen in his hands.

“Yeah, so the map will take us to it?” Marvin asked, taking out a couple pages of notes and diagrams in King’s handwriting. Complete with information on local animals that they probably didn’t need but King had gone on about it for about three pages and Marvin hadn’t been impatient enough to stop him at the time.

“Should narrow down the area,” King warned, watching Roman and Eric. “Never been there myself, by my sources do point to the language coming from there.”

“But it’s not Portuguese?” Marvin asked.

“No, it predates Spanish and Portuguese conquest in the area,” King explained. “Which is probably why we can’t find records, they probably labelled it as demon worship and burned anything that detailed it.”

“Is it?” Eric asked, more than a little nervous.

“Most likely,” King shrugged, “I’d be surprised if it wasn’t. I mean the conquistadors did a lot of _awful_ things, but this time burning the demon temple was probably a good call. I mean, a broken clock is right at least twice a day.”

“Well, good luck, unless yeh want ta come with,” Marvin offer. ”I mean, yah already know Portuguese.”

King flipping through another old-looking book, this one was written in French. “No, the park needs me too much, I can barely spare the couple hours I have to work on these.”

“Too bad,” Roman sighed. “You’d have fun.”

King smiled sadly, shrugged, “Maybe some other time.”

“G-Good luck,” Eric told him.

“Thanks kid, have fun, use a lot of bug spray,” King smiled at him. “Don’t jump into a white van.”

Eric nodded, looking a little excited.

“Okay,” Marvin decided. “Let’s go before any of the villains can stop us.”

Eric smiled and began shaking his fists up and down, which got a smile from everyone in the room.

King smiled as he watched them leave to go and pack their bags.


	2. Gambling with the Hand of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes are setting sail, hoping that the first leg of their mission goes well and that they find their guide without too much trouble . . . Fate has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also known as the chapter where I get to actually use one of my native languages: Spanish. If any of the Brazil or Spanish is wrong please tell me so I can fix it.
> 
> It also felt like a waste not to include a little bit of the Side’s ability to change skin tones so Roman gets to not burn like a tomato in the sunset. Whether or not he keeps Thomas’s freckles is up to you.

Two days after meeting with Marvin’s friend, Captain Magnum, they were sailing on an actual pirate ship. Roman took to the crew immediately and immediately looked like something out of _Pirates of the Caribbean_. None of the heroes were in costume, trying to keep a low profile, even though Roman’s skin tone was naturally trying to protect him from the sun by darkening as much as possible without his permission. As soon as he’d noticed it, he just shrugged and let it happen, even staying out in the sun with shorts and without a shirt to get a consistent skin tone. It had started a light shade and now was a dark tan that Roman had taken great pains to make his eyes pop even more with some dark blue eye shadow.

Needless to say, the Captain and his crew had another friend in the Coalition.

Eric would have loved to be able to enjoy it, because it looked like they were having fun. But he was half-bent over the railing of the ship, dry heaving at this point since he’d thrown up enough times to no longer keep anything down.

“Not used to the ocean?” Magnum jabbed.

“First time outside my home city,” Eric admitted, taken over by nausea. “How much farther?”

“Well I’d say wit’ Marv’s witchcraft,” Magnum looked around.

“Not a witch,” Marvin called out, standing on the helm with the navigator, magic visibly rippling in his hands and billowing upwards into the sails. Marvin was wearing a hat that helped him hide his long green hair, and was desperately trying to keep the sun out of his eyes. His lack of mask let Eric see the long claw marks down his face for the first time.

“So ye said a couple hours?” Magnum looked at Marvin.

“Yeah,” Marvin didn’t look back at him, teeth gritted in concentration. He’d only been back at this spell for a couple minutes but needed all the concentration he could get to keep them on track.

“See, we’ll get those feet back on solid ground,” Magnum promised, patting Eric on the back.

“Th-Thanks,” Eric groaned, retching again, clutching the rail in a death grip.

It took a little over two hours to reach shore, and Eric stumbled back onto shore, just clutching the ground as he tried not to keep dry heaving. Roman sat by his side, announcing his presence before he began rubbing soft circles into his back.

After letting Eric’s stomach settle for a bit they walked into town, Marvin trying to use the pin that Host had given them to find their guide. Problem was that Marvin was taking them in circles around the city. The pin was continuously bringing them back to the less affluent areas of the city. They passed by an electronics store about five times before they stopped.

“Just our luck,” Marvin scoffed, trying to adjust his hat without making his hair tumble out. “Bet this thing has a range on it like the rest of the Host’s powers.”

“So what now?” Roman asked.

Marvin frowned at it, wondering how upset Host would get if Marvin powderized it to use as a locator. But then he’d need to make a new good luck charm for Eric. So he just stood in the shade of the electronics building, when it suddenly just started a subtle, flashing glow.

“Huh,” Marvin hummed.

“What?” Roman asked, leaning it. Marvin began to step away from the building and it suddenly stopped. Backtracking brought the subtle glowing back.

“Where did the Host even get this thing?” Marvin thought out loud. Carefully Marvin began heading down an alleyway, barely wide enough to fit a trash can through, and the glowing began to get more insistent.

The pin led them to a little clothing shop. Marvin walking inside first. So far this was the only clothing shop they’d seen in this part of town with a front door to it and not just be an outdoor market connected to a house.

When they walked in there was no one there. Which bothered Roman and the others, a lot.

“¿Olá?” Roman greeted in his rather stilted Portuguese. “Estamos comprando.”

At that point someone did walk out, it was a guy who looked a little older than Marvin. He took one look at them and pulled a gun out.

Immediately Marvin was casting a spell to dampen any sound in the area. Roman threw up a shield in front of him and Eric as Marvin tossed a sleep spell at the guy. He dropped like a rock, his gun hit the ground.

“Nice shot,” Roman grinned at Marvin. The magician was quickly trying to pin the star back onto a very rattled Eric.

“Why’d he shoot at us?” Eric whimpered. Marvin locked the front door so no one else could walk in behind them.

“Well obviously they don’t want our money,” Roman jokes picking up the unconscious guy and dragging him into the back of the shop.

“Wh-What sh-ould we do?” Eric stammered.

“We’re going to figure out what’s wrong with this place,” Roman decided.

“So, wh-at should I do? Eric asked.

“Just watch our backs,” Marvin told him. “We don’t know how many more of these guys are here.”

Eric nodded, instinctively holding his hands closer to him, trying not to touch anything just in case. He nervously watched the front door as Marvin and Roman crept towards the back door of the store that led into the rest of the house.

Marvin made sure the door wouldn’t make any noise as he opened it, double checking the empty room that had a narrow concrete stairwell up to the second floor. The two heroes could hear loud talking from upstairs, none of it in English. Marvin motioned for Eric to stay at the door so that Marvin and Roman could start creeping up the stairs.

The closer they got the better they could hear the speakers, and one of them was starting to speak in English.

“Hey now,” a rather cocky guy’s voice began. “No need to pressure me for an autograph, I know I’m great.”

The sound of someone getting punched followed the guy’s comment. There was no door at the top of the stairs so the two heroes just hid in the stairwell until they could figure out what was going on.

“¡Cállete!”

“No están Brasilenos, pues,” the guy laughed. “Miren, si quisieran robarme, debería a espera hasta que yo volví.”

Marvin looked at Roman, whispering, “Hey, romantic, yah understand any ‘a this?”

Roman nodded, “I’m conversational.”

Carefully, so he was making the least amount of noise possible, Marvin summoned a third eye to spy on the room. There were two guys in nice clothes, both of them armed with at least one gun each, and an Asian-American tied to a chair on the far side of the room. His arms tied and crossed in front of him, and his face was already looking heavily bruised despite the rather smug expression on his face. By the nice dusty tan and from the clothes it was obvious he wasn’t a normal tourist, and Marvin groaned.

“Just our luck,” Marvin whispered. “Found our guide.”

“Really?” Roman whispered back, “does he need to be rescued?”

“Yep,” Marvin groaned, but he noticed their trapped guide looking over at the space where Marvin had cloaked his third eye, deliberately staring at it.

“Vos a llamar tu papá, ahora!” The head goon ordered, bringing Marvin and Roman’s attention back to the hostage situation at hand.

Marvin watched the smile fade from his face, a dangerous look in his eyes, “¿Ehh?”

The guy slapped him, “No voy a preguntar otra vez, chico.”

“Si quieres que lame al Viejo, debería a tomar tus pistolas y disparate en el culo,” the guide ordered, in a clearly threatening tone that even Marvin could tell that things were going south fast even if he didn’t understand Spanish.

One of the goons pulled out his gun and pressed it to his temple.

“Shit,” Marvin hissed a little louder than he should have and the two gang members looked over to the open doorway. The two started talking between each other as the gun was pulled away from the guide’s head.

“What are they doing?” Roman whispered.

“They know we’re here,” Marvin warned, dispersing his third eye and braced for someone to come around the corner.

But there was a loud thud and the sound of a gunshot going off both one of the goons was slammed into the wall and limply began tumbling down the concrete stairs. Eric let out a nervous scream as he landed close to him, his fingers rippling with little explosions, denting the doorknob a little.

Roman rushed inside, his little steel shield up and Marvin followed him to see the other gang member slumped, half hanging off a bed. The guide looked at them, before he gave a huge smile.

“Hey, I was wondering who was on the stairs,” he smiled. “Gringos, right?”

Roman shrugged, “Yeah, we were in the neighborhood.”

“Yeah, I doubt that, the Old Man sent yah didn’t he?” He asked. “I don’t need to be babysat, I can take care of myself.”

“No, but you don’t exactly look like the picture of self-reliance right now,” Roman crossed his arms in front of him. “Obviously, you’re tied up like a Christmas pig.”

He grinned and then maneuvered a file out of his sleeve and began cutting at the rope binding his wrists together. “I was fine, I’ve been in sticker situations.”

“Really?” Roman scoffed, setting his shield down. “Like what?”

“Eh, I lost one of my companions when an entire tomb fell on top of us,” Illinois explained, finally getting enough of his hands free to twist his hand free. “Was pretty bad, lost my entire expedition group, although I came out with a really cool necklace, was cursed and everything.”

“That cursed necklace’s probably what killed ‘em,” Marvin reprimanded.

“Nah, I found the necklace after they died,” Illinois told him, working on freeing his legs now. “It only reveals itself to a man who has survived great loss, my Old Man did not like it when I brought it back to his place. Name’s Illinois, by the way, pleasure to meet me.”

He had a huge shit-eating grin on his face.

Roman chuckled a little bit, clearly more amused with the adventurer than Marvin was. “Yeah, so what was the whole hostage thing about then?”

Illinois waved his hand dismissively at the gang members, standing and starting to walk around the bed to where a duffel bag had been calmly placed on the floor. “Ahh, don’t mind them. They thought I could get them a shitton of money,” Illinois shrugged. “Didn’t work, obviously, my phone’s been dead for two days.”

He cursed under his breath as he pulled out a pocket watch and stuffed it into his pocket. “Had to mess my stuff up.” Finally he gently tugged a fedora out of the bag and placed it on his head.

“So, if the Old Man didn’t send you, why are you really here?” Illinois asked.

“Oh, we were—” Roman began.

“Can we not talk about this in a gang hideout?” Marvin interrupted.

“Oh yeah, Sofie’s probably worried sick,” Illinois agreed and grabbed one of the gang members. He walked towards the other guy and looked down the stairs at Eric.

“Hey, Magic Man and friend,” Illinois called back at them. “This one of yours too.”

“Who?” Marvin asked, looking around the corner to see Eric trying to use the door to shield himself. “Oh yeah, he’s with us.”

Illinois then took off his hat to examine something inside it, something that was glowing at the same time as the pin on Eric’s shirt. Grabbing the gang members, Illinois just eyed Eric suspiciously as he dragged the unconscious assailants, Eric continuing to try and use the door to protect himself.

“What’s up?” Marvin asked as Illinois took stock of the store. He dumped the other two guys on the third gang member. Then he stuck his head out tentatively to check the street. Across the street an old woman rushed over to him. Illinois smiled.

“Senhor,” the woman called out in relief and immediately hugged him.

Illinois smiled and accepted the hug, talking to her quickly in what sounded like fluent Portuguese. He said something and the much shorter old woman slapped him across the arm. Illinois was quick to rush the heroes out of the shop.

“Who’s that?” Roman asked, two other guys from across the street that looked like they could be the woman’s sons walked over, thanking Illinois.

“This is her shop,” Illinois told them. “These guys muscled in and took the place over. I went in to rough them up.”

“And got yourself captured?” Roman smiled.

“Like I said, I was fine,” Illinois said, and then he looked at Eric. “Where’d you get that, kid?”

“Uh,” Eric began to stammer, clearly panicking at suddenly having a stranger’s attention on him. “I-I-I do-don’t know what y-you’re t-talking about.”

“Hey, hey,” Marvin moved in, trying to put himself in between the two. “No need ta be so hostil’.”

“I’m not hostile,” Illinois tried to flash a charming smile. “Just wanna know where the cowardly lion over there got that pin.”

“Why?” Roman asked, feeling similarly protective of Eric.

Illinois glared at him and took off his hat, holding it up so that Marvin and Roman could see the small. Metallic star hidden in one of the small divots of the hat. “Cause the Ol’ Man who gave this to me doesn’t hand these out to your average Joe. So, I’ll ask you again, did you get this from him?”

“Wasn’t old,” Marvin told him, “we got this from a friend of ours, he said we’d need a guide and told us that this would lead us to you.”

“Who?” Illinois urged.

“Hey, fer all we know, yeh could ‘a stolen that thin’ an’ are tryin’ ta get information out ‘a us,” Marvin defended.

“Okay, fine,” Illinois threw his hands up, Eric flinched behind Marvin at the clear anger and frustration in the man’s voice. “All I wanna know, is if the guy who gave this to you is alright.”

“He’s fine, but he’ll be pissed if we don’t get this back to him,” Roman answered, and Marvin had the urge to make Roman’s mouth disappear.

“Good, good,” Illinois said. “Just make sure it gets back to him. So, he sent you to look for me? Didn’t know the prick had a heart, I figured it was just made of ink and spite at this point.”

“We need a guide who knows Portuguese and the jungle to take us to this creepy temple full of weird writing. You’ll probably find more curses.”

“Promise?” Illinois smiled. “What’s the name of this place?”

Marvin pulled out his map, complete with King’s sketches and notes. “Our translator said it roughly translates out ta _‘The Pillars of the Underworld’_ more or less.”

Illinois’s eyes shot up, his smile getting wider in clear interest, “Ohhh, how’d I miss this?”

“It’s got some kind ‘a magical spell cloakin’ it from bein’ found,” Marvin answered, I found somethin’ that can get us inside.”

“Say no more, I’m in,” Illinois decided. “How are we getting there?”

“We’ve got a guy who will take us most of the way by boat,” Roman answered.

“Great, I’ve got a Jeep, are we talking a schooner or a rowboat?” Illinois asked.

“Think ‘a the most stereotypical pirate ship imaginable,” Marvin told him, Illinois nodded. “Kay, that’s what we’re dealin’ with.”

“Alright,” Illinois’s smile didn’t fade. “I’ll drop the car off with them before we leave. I think I know who you’re talking about, I was in Angkor with an odd pirate crew. It was great, I was hanged upside-down and almost eaten by cannibals on that one.”

“Somethin’ tells me yeh might be functionally insane,” Marvin deadpanned.

“But you need a guide, right?” Illinois boasted, “Don’t worry, I know this jungle almost as well as the people around here do, and I’m finding that temple with or without you now that I know it’s there. So we can either stick together until the cut, or we can meet up and fight over the treasure and the glory there.”

“We just want some wall etchings, whatever’s left over in the haunted, cursed temple, ye an’ our ship captain can fight over it,” Marvin agreed, holding out his hand.

“We’ll talk details on the ride over,” Illinois didn’t take his hand, securing his duffel bag in front of his body. “I’ll meet you boys by the docks, we should leave nice and early.”

“Right,” Roman agreed, already getting excited.

“We-We’re getting back on the ship?” Eric practically whimpered.

“Yeah, sorry kid, not nearly as long this time though,” Marvin apologized, noting how Illinois seemed to almost be sizing Eric up again. The timid hero had mostly kept quiet, probably to keep attention off of him, and now that he was talking Illinois seemed to be taking a bit too keen of an interest in him.

“I’m gonna be sick,” Eric was already dry heaving.

“I’ll make yah somethin’ fer the trip, yah’ll be right as rain,” Marvin promised.

“Alright,” Eric dry heaved.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” Illinois finally said. “I have to check back in on Sofie, and get some stuff for the trip, try not to get robbed blind.”

“We won’t,” Roman promised bodily.

Illinois just chuckled and disappeared back into the store, leaving the three heroes to head back to the docks, less meandering and aimless than when they’d entered the city before.


	3. I’m a National Treasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group finally reach their destination, and it is as cult-filled as the brochure said it would be.

If Marvin didn’t hate Illinois before, he did now. Both of them were with Magnum and Roman in the same cage. Magnum in particular was half rolled into a ball to fit in with them. Eric had been separated from them in the chaos. 

Sailing had been easy enough but the instant they started moving towards the temple they were immediately ambushed and captured by the cult they were looking for. It had been a temple carved into a cave. They had been able to track them because of Marvin’s innate magical ability. Roman had almost gotten his nose crushed up into his skull for trying to be a bit too eager to take on ten people at once.

“This is your fault,” Marvin glared at Illinois.

“My fault?” Illinois huffed. “What about this is my fault?”

“How about the part where you were laughing about the fact that we were in a book and your maniac brother was controlling us. Maybe you should have taken the whole thing seriously.”

Illinois used what tiny space he had to try and kick the door at the top of the cage off. But he lacked the room and the leverage to put any kind of power into it. “Kay, Maury, just because you’re the main character here doesn’t mean you can act like a know-it-all. If you really knew Artie you’d understand.”

The adventurer punched the cage wall, looking around in random directions as if he was trying to find something. “I’m not going to die here, Artie! Go jump off a bridge, you asshat!”

“We are right next to you, why the hell are you shouting!?” Roman shouted back.

“Because my asshole brother is trying to kill me, but I’m not going to let him,” Illinois argued. “The Old Man is going to kill you, you jealous douchebag!”

The adventurer began frantically looking at the top of the cage.

“Maybe Eric’s looking for the keys?” Roman tried to be helpful, trying to summon anything but there was something wrong with the cage they were in because he couldn’t use his imagination powers. In fact he was getting a little lightheaded.

Illinois scoffed. “Yeah right. We’ve got to save ourselves. If he didn’t run for the hills, he’s hunkered down in some corner.”

“Hey, asshole,” Roman snapped back, bracing himself against the bars of the cage. “He would never abandon us.”

“Trust me,” Illinois laughed dryly. “I’ve had all kinds of travel partners. The cowardly lions I’ve worked with always get themselves killed.”

Any other insults Illinois was about to say were swallowed up by a series of loud explosions and then Eric came running out of the tunnel, looking panicked and worried. “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!”

He slammed into the side of the cage door and began climbing up as Illinois watched him.

“Holy shit,” Illinois commented. “You came back.”

There was a look of realization crossed his face, “Wow, guess you guys were right we aren’t in a book.”

“ _Now_ you believe us?” Marvin demanded in exasperation.

“Artie’s real big on playing with tropes, but he never breaks ‘em.” As Illinois spoke, he scaled the cage wall so he could get closer to Eric. “Alright kid what do you see?”

Eric was pulling at a latch, “I-It won’t budge.”

“That’s okay, what _type_ of latch is it?” Illinois said. He couldn’t see the lock from this angle.

“It’s made of . . . uh, um, rock with some weird writing,” Eric answered.

“Let me up,” Marvin ordered.

“I c-an do this,” Eric promised and began shaking out his hands before placing them directly on the latch and the whole thing rippled out into an explosion. Eric screamed, jolted with electricity.

With Eric off the door, Illinois swung his legs up and kicked the door open, jumping on top of the cage. Immediately he was helping the others up. But he did look back at Eric and smiled warmly. “Pretty brave thing you did back there, kid. You okay?”

“Ye-Yeah,” Eric was beaming as he readjusted his glasses. “Re-ally?”

“Yeah,” Illinois smiled. “I thought you’d leave us high and dry to huddle in a corner. I’m glad you proved me wrong. You’re a real hero, you know that?”

“Y-ou really th-ink so?” Eric was tripping over his words a bit more than usual.

“Oh I know so,” Illinois jumped off the cage to let Magnum have the room he needed to climb out. “Now let’s get outta this place and find the treasure we really want.”

“Yarr,” Magnum agreed, the earth shaking a bit as he jumped down. There was a sound of someone walking down the tunnel. Everyone ducked around the corner and when the guy appeared in the entranceway, Magnum hit him in the face, knocking him out.

Illinois directed Magnum to toss him into the cage.

“Okay, five bucks says he’s not alone,” Illinois said. “Kid, how many did you kill when you ran in?”

“I-I-I didn’t,” Eric looked on the verge of the breakdown.

“Did you knock them out?” Illinois went for a softer tone, holding up his hands placatingly.

Eric looked away, “I-I didn’t . . . try to hurt them. Couldn’t . . . touch them.”

“Okay, we can work with that,” Illinois told him and then looked around the room. “Bunch of commandos, and no guns. Great.”

“Ye gonna shoot ‘em?” Marvin asked.

“If it’s me or them, I’d rather get out of this in one peace, if it pleases the court,” Illinois defended.

“Self-defense,” Marvin agreed, giving Roman a hard look who seemed uncomfortable but threw his arms up in surrender.

“Magnum,” Illinois asked. “Plan B.”

“Gotcha,” Magnum smiled and pulled out several sticks of wood, and a string.

“Thank you,” Illinois told him and began assembling a crossbow.”

“How long have you had that?” Roman asked.

“Didn’t want to pull one of these out for just anything, I’ve got one shot, and I think I saw some pretty weak supports in the main room.

“Are yah mad?” Marvin growled.

“Oh, definitely,” Illinois smiled back. “But it’s our best shot out. I can make the shot, I know I can.”

“I don’t want to be trapped in a cave for the rest of my life,” Roman reminded.

“We won’t,” Illinois winked, “I’ve got us. I just need to make sure that they’re all to one side. You got a spell to help with that Maury?”

“That’s basic ventriloquism,” Marvin reminded, rolling his eyes. “Course I can throw sound over a room.”

“Awesome,” Illinois grinned.

Slowly the two began making their way out of the cave.

“Kay,” Marvin whispered. “How are you actually doing this?”

“I have the ability to affect probability, but I can horde it for a specific moment,” Illinois explained. “So I’ve got one shot cause the bow and I can’t give you my luck to do it for us.”

“Don’t miss,” Marvin told him.

“I can’t,” Illinois boasted and the two got close to the main room where five more guys were standing around looking agitated. Marvin heard that odd humming that he’d caught when the four of them had been dragged in. It was almost like a siren’s call.

While Marvin had been distracted between the ventriloquist spell he was doing and his thoughts, Illinois took his shot. The adventurer was aiming for one of the degraded supports of the temple that was helping to support the roof of the cave.

He looked down the sights and took a deep breath. On Illinois’s next exhale, his finger moved and the arrow flew. All it did was embed itself into a wood panel but it set off a chain reaction in exactly the right spot to make the pre-existing wood rot cracking the wood. The rock above started to groan under the weight.

“You guys okay?” Eric asked as he walked in.

“Get down!” Illinois jumped onto Eric, knocking him to the ground and shielding him with his own body.

The sound of falling tunnel was louder than Eric’s screams,which Eric and Marvin’s ears didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. It seemed to take ages for the collapse to stop and dust covered all of them.

Eric was whimpering in terror, curled into Illinois until the rumbling and crashing sounds of rocks finally stopped.

“A-Am I de-ad?” Eric coughed up dust.

Illinois picked his head up and saw that the tunnel collapses had luckily stopped inches from their hallways, sparking all of them and mere hairs away from Illinois’s foot.

“Not yet,” Illinois grinned as he looked at the edge of the new tunnel.

“They de-ad?” Eric gulped.

“Well fookin’ forgive me if I don’ grieve fer a bunch ‘a human sacrificin’ cultists,” Marvin started picking himself up slowly.

“You two okay?” Roman was running over, the room they’d been caged in was unscathed. Magnum was trying to squeeze himself through the much smaller tunnels.

“That was amazing,” Eric praised Illinois. The adventurer held out a hand to help Eric to his feet.

Illinois seemed to puff out his chest a bit at that. “Yeah? Glad you think so.”

“Where’d yeh learn ta shoot like that?” Marvin asked.

“Practice,” Illinois boasted. “Crossbow’s a bit different of a beast than a gun or a bow and arrow.”

“I guess, never fired out anythin’ more than magic,” Marvin agreed.

“Let’s get what we want, an’ get out of here before the cult of silly hats frees ‘emselves,” Magnum reminded.

“Right,” Illinois agreed.

The group began heading towards the entrance when Marvin stopped. “Hey, there was this weird room down the other hall, I wanna check it before we go.”

“You crazy?” Illinois reminded. “We should cut our losses. There’s other temples and weird places around the area we could look for.”

Then Marvin heard the low hum again, almost beckoning him down the other way.

“We came here to look fer somethin’ an’ I’m not leavin’ without it.” Marvin was starting down the tunnel, it was a wide entrance. Not quite big enough for a car, but certainly big enough to fit two average-sized wheel barrows through side-by-side.

“We just,” Illinois was stalking after him, clearly trying to stop him and pull Marvin back. But Marvin had stepped around the corner to see a large room. Immediately when Marvin saw it he knew some awful things had happened in this room, a dark energy was permeating the entire place. Murder, kidnappings, blood sacrifices.

Illinois stopped too, looking into the room. “You feel that too.”

Marvin nodded, looking around as he drew a couple protective symbols on the floor. “We found it.”

There was something like an altar set up to view a full mural. Drawing that looked like some type of ritualistic sacrifice in front of a dark mass that didn’t look human.

“Think this is it?” Roman asked, taking out his camera.

“Better be,” Marvin answered, he glanced over at Illinois who was staring up at it with awe and shock in his eyes, his mouth slightly a gap open. “Or we just trekked through mosquito-infested jungle and got captured for nothing.”

“This,” Illinois gasped, Eric hiding behind him, “this is _incredible_! The board’s never going to believe it.”

“Can ye read this?” Marvin asked.

“Some,” Illinois admitted, not looking back at Marvin for longer than a second, as if transfixed by the mural, which should have probably alarmed Marvin more than it did. “Well, I can read the Cariban. But it’s old, real old, I’d need a couple days, and books back home, to decipher all of this stuff out. It’s intermixed with a language I’ve never seen before. Doesn’t look like any of the other Marajoara or Mesoamerican languages I’ve seen, but I doubt I’ve seen all of them.”

“So you could read some of it?” Marvin quizzed. “You could figure out some of it.”

“I could decode all of it,” Illinois promised. “It’s obvious that multiple cultures lived here, I get one of them, I could find more.”

“Really?” Marvin eyed him up and down.

“Yeah,” Illinois smiled. “We could learn more about pre-colonial American traditions and religion with this thing. Think of the possibilities! Wish I’d picked this for my thesis instead, but that doesn’t mean I can’t publish the shit outta this thing.”

The adventurer walked closer to the mural. Roman accidentally snapping a picture of him in frame as well before moving out of the way to get his shot back again so he could get all the writing he needed. He ran his hands over the dark mass, marveling over it. “You came here for these? You boys planning on summoning an eldritch demon or something.”

“Nah,” Marvin answered. “We’re hoping to contain them.”

Illinois just stared at him, his expression in between cautious, and concerned. “Well good luck. You’re going up against Dark right? There’s not a soul in Egoton that hasn’t heard of him.”

“Wasn’t our original idea, but if we can get ‘im too, we will,” Marvin promised.

Illinois actually chuckled at that. “Yeah, maybe if you got the drop on him and know what you were doing. Good luck with that.”

“So what’d you catch on that,” Roman asked, still taking pictures of the mural.

“It’s detailing some type of process of communication, what I don’t know yet, but the pictures don’t look like they’re talking about anything like that so I don’t know yet.”

“We’ve got a guy who’s savvy with old languages, but if ye find anythin’ make sure ye let us know, always good ta have a second opinion,” Marvin told him.

“If you can get me copies I can absolutely do that,” Illinois agreed before looking around. “Hey, where’s Mag go?”

“Look at what I found!” Magnum called out from a neighboring room that was connected to the room they were in. The heroes and Illinois rushed into the other room to see the room had ceiling to floor boxes full of things. Some of the boxes were filled with food, others of them had jewelry and money. A bunch of it had sparkles of blood on them.

“Well this must be how some of the commandos have been shipping stuff out of the city,” Illinois walked over, pulling a box out of the stack to rifle through it. “Make sense, there’s been lots of missing people through the years.”

“Is there any way to return it?” Eric asked.

Illinois just smiled up at him. “Brave and kind to a fault aren’t you?” Then he looked down. “I’m not seeing any names or return addresses and there’s lots of people who would lie to pocket some of this stuff. Looks expressive too.”

Eric frowned, but Illinois slowly and carefully pulled out a necklace from the pile, muttering to himself as he worked to untangle it from some of the others. It had a small jade rabbit on it.

“Here,” Illinois held it up once he’d freed it from the other necklaces, “Since there’s no way to return it, you should have this one.”

Eric looked back at Marvin and Roman. “Is this a good idea?”

Marvin sighed. “It’s like twenty bucks in the middle of a busy street,” the magician agreed. “Sides, the Captain’s gonna take it when we’re not looking.”

“Yard, ye know me so well,” Magnum smiled.

“Probably cause yer a pirate, it’s kinda yer job,” Marvin agreed. “Most ‘a this should go ta the local population, help out the local economy.”

“I think I can arrange that,” Illinois promised, but held up the necklace. “But this should be yours, Eric.”

“Really?” Eric blushed.

“Yeah,” Illinois smiled slyly. “You deserve to walk away with something for your hard work.”

Illinois carefully clasped the necklace around Eric’s neck. In the end, everyone but Marvin walked away with something. The magician was hesitant to touch anything that could possibly be cursed. Eric got his necklace. Illinois pocketed something Roman didn’t get to fully get a good look at what it was. Roman got a dagger with a jaguar carved into the hilt. Magnum and his crew made off with a lot of treasure, the rest would stay in Illinois’s Jeep with the adventurer. The crew used Illinois’s Jeep to get back to the ship in one trip.

While they were on the ship riding back to the Manaus port they’d pushed off from, Marvin took Roman’s phone to start taking notes of the inscriptions. Looking at the mural depictions of the black mass itself unsettled something in Marvin’s stomach but he kept everything for King to translate in case the inscription was another part of the language itself.

They made it to the port in good time, Magnum and his crew immediately restocking for the trip home. During the exchanges, Eric watched Illinois step off the gangplank and onto the dock.

“You leaving?” Eric asked, a bit hurt.

“Well yeah, I’ve still got research to collect,” Illinois told him. “Term papers don’t write themselves.”

“You sure?” Roman asked. “It’s no problem to drop you off.”

“I’ll be fine, get out of here before you worry Artie,” Illinois groaned.

“If we say yes, will you drop it,” Marvin answered, smiling.

“Absolutely not,” Illinois jogged back up to the ship, holding out his hand. “Here, Eric I can give you a call when I get back to town. We can go to this really nice fair that’s going to pull up to town when I get back.”

Eric blushed, pulling out his phone, “Sounds like fun.”

The adventurer winked, clicking his tongue and began inputting his number. “Wait a couple hours before calling, my phone’s dead.”

“Right,” Eric held the phone close to him.

Illinois finally got back onto the dock and watched as Magnum directed the ship to pull away. Eric leaning over the railing and waving at Illinois until he was too far away to see clearly.

Once the adventurer was a speck on the horizon, Roman leaned over. “Spill,” Roman begged. “I live for romance, it’s literally in my name.”

“Could ye two hens keep yer lovebird crooning down?” Marvin shouted. “I’m trying to figure out how ta kill demons.”

“Love can vanquish evil,” Roman proclaimed.

“Sure, uh huh,” Marvin dismissed. “Whatever you say, Charming. Just take it a couple steps away from me so I can concentrate.”

“Oh let him have fun,” Roman goaded, gesturing to Eric. “He’s got a hot Brazilian boyfriend.”

“Did ye hear that dipshit talk?” Marvin scoffed, smiling a bit. “Fooker was American.”

“Oh can it, Copperfield,” Roman smiled back, but was pushing Eric away a little farther away from Marvin. Roman already started to give Eric rather lofty advice, and in Marvin’s mind it was woefully unhelpful, for dating someone. Marvin left them to it, it let him concentrate on the pictures, and Roman would be back to pester the magician for his phone again anyways.

The three heroes on a sailing ship with a pirate crew, and before long Marvin would join in on the fun.


End file.
